This afternoon, I opened up a nice, cool, refreshing bottle of diet Dr Pepper and was about to drink it down when I noticed that there were printed alphanumeric characters under the cap. The actual characters were YR6P4E 7HH4E6. I know that in the olden days, they used to have contests and you would try to get the lucky bottle cap, but this is something different.
As I ran the alphanumeric characters through my Bat decoder ring, I suspected there was something seriously wrong here. These were in fact code symbols that are probably used by the CIA to communicate with secret agents working in super secret locations. I figure the only way they know how to keep in contact is by transmitting these numbers through diet Dr Pepper bottles.
So, this got me thinking that perhaps I accidentally bought a soda that was originally intended for a super secret spy who is now desperate to find out super secret information that can only be decoded from this particular bottle of soda. So, if anyone comes across a wayward super secret CIA spy hanging out at the local Quickie Mart on Main Street (right next door to the strip joint where that black-haired girl works…you know the one that called the cops on me and went all psycho with the restraining order?), then please let that secret agent know that the instructions YR6P4E 7HH4E6 have been successfully relayed to him as intended.
And thank him for keeping America safe. And drinking diet Dr Pepper as well.