Monthly Archives: January 2012

The World Moves on Without Me

Memoirs, News, Politics, Relationships, , , , , , ,

Years ago, I was working in military intelligence, and the training exercise was something you’d see on any episode of “24” or any other television show that pretends to understand what intelligence people do. Basically, we’d receive all sorts of intelligence information from sources, news, and wherever, and then based on an assessment of the map, we’d make recommendations about what needs to be done in order to counter the “threat”. It was a period of 24 hours we were dealing with (shortened for our exercise), but what kept annoying me was that no matter how many “brilliant” suggestions we made, the scenario wasn’t designed to actually implement any of our suggestions. So, if Dictator A was waging some kind of guerilla campaign, his actions would have sanctions based on any of the recommendations we made. In other words, it was all scripted out ahead of time, so no matter what impact we tried to make, we wouldn’t actually make a difference. The exercise serves two purposes: One, you learn to react quickly to a changing scenario, and (possibly unplanned by the designers) second, you learn that quite often intelligence people have all the information but no one bothers to listen to them.

Now, this could go on into a diatribe about intelligence and how no one pays attention to it, but that’s a column for another day. Instead, I’d rather deal with something a little closer to home. Having read my little introduction, I would like to put forth that my life is very much that scenario today. Except I’m no longer in intelligence. I’m an average Joe who has zero impact or say so in government whatsoever. And sadly enough, I’m discovering that it’s just as frustrating now as it was when I was supposed to have a voice.

You see, every day I read the news to see what’s going on in the world and in my local community. And every day, huge things happen, but none of them have any ties to me whatsoever. There was a huge protest in Oakland yesterday, where OWS people were arrested because of what they believe in. Police are up in arms (as they usually are), and the city officials are planning to “meet” this disruption with the usual gumption. Me, on the other hand, well, I’m not involved. I don’t live in Oakland, and even if I did, chances are pretty good that I’d be somewhat of an insignificant cog in the wall over there, so what’s it really matter?

Our country is going through huge budget problems. I have lots of ideas I’ve tried to share with people. No one cares. They listen to economists who have continued to prove they know as much as anyone else, and they argue amongst themselves, but the average person with a plan, or a solution, is insignificant. Instead, we’ve been relegated to the ranks of the spoken to rather than those who have a voice.

And that’s been bothering me a lot lately. Unfortunately, other than to complain about it to an audience that doesn’t exist, I really don’t know what to do about it. And I never have. Instead, I seem to live a non-existent life without purpose, doing the same things over and over without any path towards anything greater. The critic can easily say, well go do something, but I’m left in that same quandary of “do what? And why?” I guess that’s the whole attraction of the Occupy Wall Street thing for a lot of people. We’ve been so disenfranchised for so long that at least there you have a voice, even if no one really is listening to you again. For a fleeting moment, you get to yell and scream, and others around you yell and scream as well. But in the end, what do you get out of it, other than arrests by police and ridicule from everyone else?

In the end, you start to realize that the world revolves around some people, and the rest of us just occupy space. It’s like our only purpose is to be consumers of stuff that the revolved around people manage. We exist so they can have good lives, and we pretend that one day we might be one of those people, but secretly we realize we’re probably never going to be.

So, what is the average person supposed to do, other than live a mediocre life that has little to no meaning?

Riding the Elevator

Memoirs, ,

I got on the elevator this morning, and there were nine other people already on it. I entered on the first floor. I was planning to go to the third floor. What I noticed was that every floor above 3 was pushed, but 3 was not. So I pushed 3. Then the elevator went right up to three, and I got off.

And five people got off with me. So, for reasons that make no sense, five people were riding the elevator with intentions of getting off at floor 3 but no one pressed the button for it.

Strange morning.

Burning Bridges

Education, Relationships, , , , , , , ,

I got fired today. Not from my regular job, but from one of my teaching jobs. I teach at two community colleges, or at least I teach at one community college and I was about to start teaching at a new one yesterday. I was assigned two political science courses at Kalamazoo Valley Community College. I had taught there about seven years ago back when I was finishing my Ph.d work at Western Michigan University. Other than a visit to see my friend Melanie (who was defending her dissertation and visiting from Germany), I hadn’t been back to Kalamazoo once since those days. It’s changed a lot.

But what happened was I mapquested the instructions to get to KVCC on my computer, printed them out and then drove down from Grand Rapids (where I live). I left an extra hour early so I would have time to get some stuff done on campus before my first class. And then I hit Kalamazoo, turning off the freeway at the first sign that indicated I was near Kalamazoo Valley Community College. Trying to remember if this was the path to get there, I drove along the path, following the signs that led to KVCC, and when I made the last turn, I discovered that I was nowhere near KVCC. The signs in Kalamazoo all led me to an alternative campus of KVCC. So I was lost.

As I drove around Kalamazoo, I continued to get more and more lost. And then it got dark. And then I was completely lost.

After an hour or so of driving around, I finally found my way to the freeway again, and this time I decided to follow the Mapquest directions to the letter. And that brought me to a wonderful factory that had nothing to do with KVCC whatsoever. So, a friendly security guard gave me directions to the campus, as this was not the first time someone showed up at the factory thinking it was KVCC, and I continued on. Before leaving, I contacted security on campus and informed them of what was going on. I didn’t know who else to contact because the information sheet they sent me in the mail had the incorrect information for the person who was my main contact (it ended up connecting me with somebody else completely who was completely unaffiliated with the person I needed to contact).

I finally got to campus half an hour after my class was to begin, and of course, no one was there. So I ended up walking around the campus a bit and trying to see if I an accomplish anything. Which wasn’t possible because I had no keys to get into my own office, get my own mail, or anything. Finding my contact’s actual office (by physically just looking for it), I left him a message, detailing my adventure that evening. And then I hopped in my car and drove the hour and six minutes home.

This morning, at work, I received a blistering phone call from the dean who was really only interested in riding my ass about not showing up to class. After I explained what happened, and how it would be rectified in future situations (I also teach a class on Friday there), that didn’t seem to be enough. It was one of those conversations you have with a girlfriend whose only interest is in continuing the fight because she realizes she has the upper hand and wants to put in as much damage as possible while she has that first wind. And as friendly as I tried to keep it, it never really stayed there because she just kept trying to goad me further into more confrontation. Realizing my own temper was starting to rise, I realized I either needed to end this conversation, or I was going to lose it. And then she threw in a “and I’m still waiting for an apology from you!” By then, I was no longer in an apologetic mood, Basically, I wanted to say, “go fuck yourself” although I didn’t. Instead, I said, “I’m ending this conversation now and hanging up.” And then I hung up.

About ten minutes later, I started getting phone calls on my cell phone from the dean, and I just pushed them to voicemail, still being very upset by our previous conversation. I figured any conversation we had was going to make me lose it, and honestly, that isn’t very productive. So at one point, her voice mail stated that she was revoking my contract, and I could call her if I had any questions.

I don’t really have any questions. Instead, I’ll go back to work and then tonight I’ll go teach at the other institution where I teach. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to teach at KVCC, but when their administration is basically hostile to the point of making your instructors not want to be there, well, that just leads to obvious conclusions.

But she still probably wants an apology, so here it is, even though she doesn’t read my blog and won’t ever know: I’m sorry I didn’t get to teach that class. I’m sorry I got lost and couldn’t find the campus. And I’m sorry that you have the people skills of a wandering raptosaurus. The pay wasn’t that great that I’m going to miss the paycheck. The students, however, will miss out on a really good instructor who actually really cares about his students. During that whole conversation, that was the only reason I never lost it completely. I like to teach, but unfortunately not always do circumstances make it possible.

A Simple Story of a Little Jedi Girl…a review of Star Wars: The Old Republic

Computer Games, , , , , , ,

As the crowd cleared before her, Zontara realized she was standing in front of her adversary, a gang leader who had stolen the holocron from the ancient jedi temple. She had tracked him to this planet, fought through bandits, thieves and hooligans until she finally tracked the device to this room. Her companion, a large lizard beast who had been at her side since she saved him from a fate worse than death when she was just a young padawan, training to be a jedi consular, fell right before her during this battle, succumbing to the blaster fire of one of the gang leader’s assailants before taking down the criminal himself in a final act of defiance, both bodies slumping to the metal floor.

This left Zontara, herself badly injured from blaster fire from the four men she and her companion had taken down previously before narrowing the odds to a simple one on one. As the gang leader raised his blaster to fire, Zontara raised her own hands and called on the Force, raising the ground as waves of debris fired as projectiles at the violent criminal. Then she called in on all of her energy to pull an entire boulder out of the ground, ripping up the earth around her, and fired it at the man, sending him flying back against the wall. Then the man rushed at her, planning to take the fight to blows rather than rely on his blaster.

For a second, Zontara was a padawan again, recalling the early fights on Tython, where she had beaten back flesh raiders and wandering wild beasts. Each fight back then had been a battle of epic proportions. And she had relied on her training saber, growing more and more adept with the instrument.

But that was then. And this was a different time. As the John Williams’ music began to fire all around her, playing that brilliant Star Wars action theme, she smiled. She wasn’t carrying a training saber now. As the man closed in on her, she pressed the button on her weapon and a green blade of flame emerged from the device, reminding her that she wasn’t just a padawan any longer. No, she was a jedi. And as the lightsaber reverberated in her hands, she rushed at the gang leader, the blade swinging before her.

No, she would remind him why she was a jedi. And only one person was coming out of this fight alive.

As I mentioned in my last post, I was now playing Star Wars: The Old Republic, and I have to say that it’s definitely living up to its promise of being a great game. Before, games attempted to recapture that Star Wars spirit, but finally a game puts you into the universe where you are experiencing the life of being a jedi, or a bounty hunter, or a Sith Lord. The possibilities are many, and they deliver on all.

Nearly a decade ago (2004, I believe), there was an attempt to do this with an MMORGP in Star Wars Galaxies: An Empire Divided. And in the beginning, they did a very good job. However, there was always something missing: The story. Basically, it put you in between the original movie and The Empire Strikes Back, or it might have been right after The Empire Strikes Back (don’t recall exactly). And you spent your time fighting as whatever you wanted to be, but you didn’t really get a choice of anything other than living in a sand box of the time period. There were no real quests. You just killed stuff and made stuff. And you flew around. And then you could fight space battles (eventually). But that was really it. And then they changed it to try to be more quest-like, except they had already destroyed the game before that point, and it just went down hill from there.

Star Wars: The Old Republic puts you 3000 years before Luke Skywalker started whining to Ben Kenobi about moisture farming. Revan was a great jedi that had gone to the dark side and then came back again (the original Knights of the Old Republic game) and he’s now a legend that has been gone for some time. That’s the universe you find yourself living in wit this game.

You can play on either the Republic side or the Empire side. I haven’t explored that much on the Empire side, although my friend Jason has, and he seems to enjoy the story they’ve developed. I look forward to trying it out myself when I exhaust the story lines of the Republic side. But right now, I’m having a blast.

There are problems with the game, including bugs that need to be fixed, but they’re not outrageous. I get the impression they’re trying to address them, even if they’re not addressing the community about the bugs being addressed. Unfortunately, community bases can be overreactive on these things, and reading the message boards is kind of dangerous if you use those as your gauge to figure these things out. But from me, I find myself enjoying the game and see many more hours of playing before I might get bored with it.

The graphics are excellent. The interface needs some improvement. Unlike World of Warcraft, there are no mods working on this game, mainly because Bioware hasn’t supported them yet. My hope is that they do support them so we can start add extra usability for this game. As a healer in the game, I can tell you that it is sometimes really hard trying to interface with the system as a healer, which can sometimes get a group killed faster than it should. Hopefully, they’ll work on that.

Overall, if I had to scale this game, I’d be giving it either 8/10 stars or 8.5/10 stars. But that is saying a lot because I’m extremely critical over games, and I haven’t played a game in a long time that I’ve given more than 6 stars on that scale. The original of this game is still one of the greatest games ever created, and I’d give that 9.5/10. The second of the series, KOTOR 2, I’d give about 7/10, as the story kind of went a bit down hill, almost as if it was written by the B team.