So, it turns out that the CEO of Yahoo made up information about his college credentials, claiming to have a degree in computer science rather than in something totally unrelated to computer science. In most cases, that wouldn’t be a big deal, but when you’re applying to be the CEO of a large computer organization, that might be somewhat important. I know that whenever I submit an application for a job that needs a BA in communication and I have a MA in communication, I get turned down because I don’t meet their qualifications. No, I’m not kidding about this. It happens ALL OF THE TIME to me. So I could understand why Daniel Loeb, who runs the Third Point hedge fund (which has a stake in Yahoo’s ownership) might be a bit miffed at CEO Scott Thompson.
The funny thing is: If this was me, I’d have been fired the second someone hinted that I made up my credentials. Someone from HR would have shown up with an empty box, had security have me clean out my cubicle, and I’d be lucky if the bus driver gave me a ride back to the parking lot where my car is parked. But does this happen to CEO Scott Thompson? No, instead he apologized to investors for misleading them, and Yahoo has gone suddenly silent about any possibility of him leaving the organization. So, as of today, there’s been no move to remove him from his position. He’s still the CEO, calling all the shots.
What kind of message does this send to the rest of the population? If you’re not the CEO, fuck you. Yeah, that’s the message. Sorry for the language. I just couldn’t find an easier way to say that if you’re not the CEO, you don’t amount to anything and you get absolutely no respect whatsoever.
None. Zip. Nada.
So, tomorrow, I think I’m going to apply to Yahoo to be their next CEO. I figure I’ll use my seven separate degrees in computer science to get in the door. After all, I graduated from Harvard, West Point, Western Michigan, MIT, Dartmouth, CalTech, University of the Pacific, Stanford and some other elite university I still haven’t figured out how to spell yet. Believe it or not, a couple of those are actually true, but because honesty doesn’t mean crap any more, I’m not revealing which ones.