As a seasoned writer (whatever that means), I often am called upon to review the creativity of another. It’s usually one of those conversations that goes: “Hey, I know you’re a writer, so can you check out my (whatever)?” And if I’m feeling really masochistic on that particular day, I’ll agree to do so. But I’m going to come out and say this once, because I’m getting really tired of saying it: If you want me to check out something of yours, don’t be shocked if I actually give an opinion on that particular thing you asked me to check out. There is one caveat to this, however. If you’re a hot supermodel who wants me to check out (whatever), then I’m probably going to say I love it and think it’s the cat’s pajamas. Let’s face it. If a hot supermodel asks me for my opinion on something, chances are I’m going to take that one opportunity of a lifetime and say whatever I can to make her think of me as someone she would like to get closer to, even if it means staring at a canvas painting of a flower that’s nothing more than a series of black lines that don’t even interconnect in any way and stating: “Wow, I can totally see what you did with this!”

For everyone else, if you want my opinion, please don’t be upset when I give it.

One of the pet peeves I used to have as a young writer was offering up my work for criticism, because people are lousy critics. Either they say what you want them to say (“it’s the best thing I’ve ever seen, EVER”) or they start in about how it doesn’t fit their post-modern paradigm (whatever that means). Very rarely, and I mean VERY RARELY, did anyone come out and say, “Duane, I really think you should be using first person narrative instead of second person narrative because your reader generally doesn’t like to feel the author is yelling at her.” Or anything as constructive as that.

That is why when I offer criticism, I look at the person’s work and see how that person can best improve it. That happened to me today. Someone asked me for an opinion on something that was just completed. I looked at it and immediately saw what would improve the product. The person appeared somewhat disjointed and taken aback, stating that everyone has an opinion and that a product can’t be changed just because each person has a different perspective. Right then and there I decided, that’s it. I’m not offering any more advice on anyone else’s stuff, unless that person goes into the criticism with the understanding of what a critcism really entails.

This is the problem with so much of our literature these days. So much of it NEEDS criticism to make it better, but instead people keep churning out drivel and then figure that critics are just opinionated people, and that if they ignore the bad ones, eventually the good ones will come along and say what they want to hear. So writers continue to churn out the same drivel (leaving us with further variations of Twilight crap) that never gets better. Most people don’t really understand this, but writers are designed to continue creating products that show their writing getting better and better as they take more and more chances, improving their craft with each new work. Instead, writers are stuck in the same grind because they don’t learn anything new, mainly because they stopped listening a long time ago.

So, I’m going to avoid criticism for the foreseeable future. If someone wants my opinion, I might consider it, as long as the person understands the ramifications of such a request. Otherwise, they can continue to churn out the drivel they continue to push out, wondering why it never seems to get any better.