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Season 2, Episode 1 of Star Trek Discovery: My review

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So, Discovery has come out with its second season, and it definitely appears to be coming in swinging. But before I start talking about Season 2’s first episode, it’s probably important to talk a bit about season one.

Season one was controversial, to say the least. Here are a couple of issues that fans have brought up.

  1. The Klingons don’t look like Klingons. This is what happens when you hire makeup artists who watch episodes of Survivor instead of shell out the money for Netflix account where they could have watched episodes of the previous iterations of Star Trek.
  2. The star isn’t the captain. That’s just kind of blasphemy, the sort of obnoxious oversight that would cause Kirk to leap at an enemy with both feet and then fall down on his behind, commonly referred to as the Kirk Maneuver, or Kirk Fu.
  3. Technology that surpasses all previous LATER IN THE TIMELINE Treks. Spore drive? The ships? Actor’s wigs that actually look like their own hair?
  4. Did I mention Klingons?
  5. A misleading plot that was going somewhere but took time to get there. I’ll talk about that later.
  6. (spoiler, so don’t read this part if you haven’t seen the show) Michelle Yeoh dies almost as soon as the show starts. Michelle Yeoh. The best actor and most enjoyable character dies almost as soon as the show starts. And then we get her again, which is great, but this wasn’t until long after the parametics revived me and helped me back to my remote.
  7. (spoiler, so don’t read this part either) The Mirror Universe showing up almost as “hey, oh yeah, we’re doing this now, and we’re going to be doing this for the rest of the season”).
  8. The main character (and possibly its the actress herself) is not very engaging. Just there. And she’s the sister of Spock. Okay, we need another number.
  9. Sister of Spock? Really? This is the one they mention in Episode 14, right? Oh wait, they never mentioned her. She’s kind of unknown to everyone. And she’s a human. Not a Vulcan. Um, okay. I guess we’ll have to wait for Season Two to figure out her deal with Spock. I just hope we don’t focus the entire season trying to figure out her deal with Spock. Oops, spoke too soon.

That being said, the first season was actually pretty good. Most people who hated Star Trek Discovery didn’t give it more than the first three episodes, which dragged on so badly. Once the season picked up, it never let go, and that’s what made it completely worth it. But you had to actually buy into that and stick it out. Fortunately, I was still being revived by the paramedics at that time, so I was stuck in front of the TV. (Aside, I am only joking. No need to send condolences, unless it’s in the form of money, then I’m feeling better and could end up keeling over any day now, so send LOTS of money).

Which brings me into Episode 1 of the new season. It’s filled with a lot of wow factors in this episode, so much that I ended up watching it a second time.

And that’s when I started to see the problems. Let me mention a few:

  1. Is this season really The Search For Spock? I kind of remember another movie with that title before.
  2. We waited until the second season to start fleshing out the main character. This isn’t a slice of an onion being presented. This is backstory that should have been in the first two episodes.
  3. Spock as a mean-spirited, anti-sister brother right off the bat just seems odd. Sure, Spock might have grown since then, but not sure I like this version of Spock’s child.
  4. Captain Christopher Pike. It really feels like they just read a lexicon of Star Trek characters and then add one of them to the mix. But it makes no sense. Think about it. He’s the captain of the U.S.S. Starship Enterprise, which is broken, so he’s going to go galavanting on Discovery for a season (or however many episodes he’s cast) before going back to his own ship. Navies don’t generally do that. I assume Starfleet doesn’t either, as everything else seems to show the future navy as very much like the present navies. He’s going to stay with his ship as it’s being repaired. I always hate the badly written plot device of trying to figure a way of squeezing someone into a story where they surely just don’t belong. Pike has his own adventures. If you want to see them, make a show called Star Trek: Enterprise: The Pike Adventures.
  5. Ensign Silly. Tilly? The running gag on Discovery. Her naivete is cute at times, but they’re trying way too hard to oversell a very minor character. She’s starting to become Wesley Crusher, and that’s when people are going to start throwing things at her. Or at least hope the strange aliens who call themselves Klingon might throw something at her, like a batliff.
  6. Section 31. Seems that Michelle Yeoh’s doppler double from the mirror universe is going to involved somehow. I could imagine her starting it, or at least being quite instrumental in getting it going. My one complaint is that we’re already hearing “Section 31” in the trailer for the second episode. The agency is supposed to be extremely secret, almost so secret that the agents themselves wouldn’t often talk about it to others, and even to themselves. A good series of writers would have developed her character within a shadowy organization and not even mention who they were. EVERY Star Trek fan would know who they were, and that would have been good enough. Never revealing it would have brought that cloud of their mystery into the mix and would have made it awesome. If they really wanted to reveal it, it should have been a final moment revelation AT THE END OF THE SEASON.

Not a whole bunch, but a few that could easily bog down the rest of the season. I hope they figure out how to get around those.

What they are doing is setting up a nice mystery that I hope they do something stellar with. Stellar. See what I did there? Stellar? Like stars as in Star Trek. Oh, I’m so funny.

But yeah, they could so something amazing with this and as they proved in season one, they do have awesome writers that once they’re given some space really know how to do something with it.

I’m on the fence with the whole Section 31 thing. One thing I thought would make it awesome (even with their revelation already) is for the whole series to be leading to reveal that Discovery is the instrument that causes Section 31 to come to life because everything about Discovery so far has been “it’s a secret ship that even Starfleet knows little about”. They kind of set that tone right from the very first episode when the main character is recruited into their ranks from her prison cell. Part of the problem with the first season (and even in a few moments of the first episode of the second season) is that they kind of forget about that. The writers treat Discovery as just another ship when before it was pretty secretive in what it was doing and even how it was built. It’s sad if they just ignore that and try to make it a happy, Starfleet vessel.

So far, I’m interested in continuing. Not a fan of CBS All Access crap. I’ll be honest. I don’t watch a single show OTHER than Discovery on there. I don’t really like ANY of CBS’s shows that I’ve seen. If they’d put more intriguing science fiction on there, I would, but even their few selections they do have are either badly written or designed by people who think we want shoot em ups in future settings. But what do I know? Maybe that IS what people wants these days. Look at some of our leaders we choose. But that’s another story.

“The First One Is Free” and “Foot in the Door” as gimmicks don’t work with television shows

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Crouching Captain, Hidden Ratings

A new trend has started with networks and their television shows. Instead of trying to hook you with their television shows by airing them and then creating buzz (or creating buzz first and then airing them), they’re trying a new process of trying to hook people by presenting one episode in one location and then hoping that will lead to return viewership in their usual location.

An example: A new series, Marvel’s Inhumans, was going to start this season. But rather than air it on television (where the show would actually appear), they decided to have it appear in IMAX as a theater presentation and then show up on television. It bombed horribly. Imagine that. Turns out, people don’t want to go to the movies to watch a television show. What a shocker. When IT was released a week or so later, IMAX removed Inhumans and put in an actual movie.

Another example is Star Trek’s Discovery. While I’m one of those who loves the idea of a new Star Trek show, this one isn’t going to be on the regular network but is being used to sell CBS’s long running pay station, as it will only air there (and on Netflix if you’re overseas). The first episode will air pretty much everywhere, and then after that you need to pay the fee to watch content on CBS’s online site.

In case you don’t know this, CBS’s paywall site has been around for years. I signed up for it ages ago when I wanted to watch a couple of shows that were hard to find, especially when I cut my cord. But after about a year, I realized it wasn’t really giving me anything superior to Hulu, so I discontinued it. I don’t intend to start it back up again just to watch one television show. Just isn’t worth it.

But CBS is convinced that Star Trek is just a strong property that it will result in huge sales of its paywall channel. We’ll see what happens, but I’m not really holding my breath.

People who watch television generally want one of two things: Make it free, or make it convenient. Free is easy, but to make something convenient, you need to avoid making it a hassle to have to go through another service just to watch television programming. So far, most of these companies haven’t done that well. CBS certainly hasn’t. So, we’ll see what happens.

Reality Disclosure: The Victoria Secret Fashion Show is Really Just a Televised Episode of Nearly Naked Women Trying to Sell Us Underwear

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Attractive woman selling you stuff
Attractive woman selling you stuff

I read a lot of news. So, it came to me as a bit of a surprise that CNN has been doing nothing but trying to explain how “important” their story about the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is.  After “reading” through their article and numerous other articles that have attempted to “write” about this story, almost always with a HUGE picture of very attractive supermodels, I get the picture. There was a fashion show put out by Victoria’s Secret, a store that sells ladies lingerie to women who want to look attractive to their partners after things have already moved to the point where they really don’t have to do anything to make the mood get to the next point. I mean, honestly, if I’m in a situation where a woman is now in her underwear, chances are pretty good she doesn’t have to convince me that I should be moving to, well, for lack of better terms, the next “base”. If I read things wrong at that time, then something’s seriously wrong with me, with her, or with the human species and academic mating rituals.

But let’s break down what’s really going on with this “fashion” show. It’s a bunch of very attractive women, walking around in their under garments, trying to get people to think this would be a really good purchase in the future. That’s really it. They’re not developing a better solar panel to collect energy. They’re not helping us figure out which presidential candidate is going to lie to us more than the other. They’re not even helping us find a potential mate. They’re walking around in their underwear being gawked at by guys across the country.

Cause let’s face it. This show might be watched by women thinking, “that outfit looks nice and maybe if I buy it, I might look like that multimillion dollar an hour supermodel” but it’s mostly being watched by guys who are thinking, “man, I really should have majored in something other than sociology in college cause a girl like that is never going to talk to me and my sorry ass bank account.” And, of course, there’s a huge segment of guys who are probably watching that show alone, in the dark. If you’re one of those guys, you might have even set up your own drive in cinema screen hire to make it a more immersive experience.

But great television it’s not. It’s like watching the Miss America Pageant and saying you watch it because you support programs that provide college scholarships to enterprising young women. No one buys that. No one even buys it when the pageant tries to pretend that’s why the pageant exists. It’s a vehicle to sell stuff in the way we always sell it. With sex.

So, I’m glad the show was the number one watched show in the country, just as much as I’m glad that Twilight is the number one movie, and every top seller on the New York Times bestseller list is a young adult book because Americans have become too stupid to read books for adults.

But that doesn’t mean I’m really happy about it. So leave me alone as I turn off the lights and watch the second half of this underwear advertisement show I taped so I could watch it alone. Check back with me in about a half hour. We’ll talk about literature then.